Samsung Sobra Sells Out in Seconds

 

The next bigger thing is here. But good luck buying one.

Samsung’s newest tablet is selling like tickets to a Vice Ganda concert.

The Korean giant’s partnership with Lazada, a midnight deal no one knew about until it was final, and a post on Samsung’s FB page, led to the Lazada site nearly caving in to massive traffic.

“Grabe views namin, Sobra,” said Mark, Lazada’s IT guy who is very muscular but whose nails and eyebrows look impeccable.

Sobra Talaga

Last year, Samsung launched the Samsung Bongga and the Samsung Mudra, much to the delight of Pinoys.

“We want to make taob what we did before. We’ve done the Mega, we launched the Bongga, now we have something really massive,” said Jenjen, Samsung’s PR girl.

“Ay ang laki nyaaa!” shrieked Mark.

The Samsung Sobra is a Windows 8.1 and Android tablet whose foldable 14-inch display is also a palm rest, palm reader, stress indicator, relationship counsellor, thermometer, hand massager, and hand sanitizer.

“Our vigorous tests show that our hands aren’t doing much when we’re in front of a laptop. No one really works anyway. Hehehe. People are just on Facebook or downloading The Walking Dead or playing Clash of Clans. So there’s a hand downtime.

As you know, Samsung is a company with innovation in its jeans. We are the first to market with a tablet that takes care of your hands,” Jenjen said.

Ay Grabe

The Samsung Sobra takes the curved display technology found on the Note Edge and S6 Edge and extends it to the Sobra, which has a folding screen.

The Sobra is thin and when folded, the device is like a medium-sized notebook and is just as thin. You can make ipit the Sobra under your armpit, like a folder, and it won’t feel heavy.

“The Sobra also takes the vibrate function of our Samsung phones and magnifies that effect, in a larger area on the display so you can rest both your palms and feel the vibration. It’s very restfull and soothing,” Jenjen said.

“The display detects if you’re using your palm and rejects input. We also have apps that pop up and ask you if you want your palm read, your future told, or your relationship analyzed and judged. Women are buying it the way pancakes sell in front of an elementary school,” she added.

“What about the hand sanitizer part?” I asked.

“Oh, we include a microfiber cloth and an alcohol-based gel form hand sanitizer in the box, and we hope customers will use them,” Maymay, another Samsung PR girl, said.

“Ah-huh. Wait, the tablet vibrates under your armpit?”

“Yes, and because of the built-in thermometer, the Sobra can tell you if you have a fever, or if you’re horny, which may or may not add to your stress level, which in turn is always indicated in the notification panel. Hehe,” said Jenjen.

“It vibrates?”

“Yes. When you put the Sobra on your lap and you set the notification to vibrate, the tablet vibrates deliciously,” Maymay said while blushing deeply.

I blinked rapidly before finally asking…”How much is this?”

“P7,999 on its own, but if you buy it with the Samsung Syempre power bank, it’s only P8,500,” Mark from Lazada said.

“Syempre?”

“Yes, because people’s phones and tablets always run out of battery power and they end up asking their friends, ‘May power bank ka ba?’ Syempre,” Mark added, beaming with pride.

“Can you show me a sample unit?”

“I brought two here, and set both to vibrate, but I can’t seem to find them,” Mark said, eyeing the women.

I looked at Maymay and Jenjen who both looked away while blushing.

“Hindi nga.”

Silence.

“Ay Sobra.”

Author

Irwin Allen Rivera loves his wife's cooking so much he's now twice the man he used to be. His English essay won a Don Carlos Palanca Memorial Award for Literature in 2012. His philosophical-horror story appeared in Philippine Speculative Fiction 8 (2013). He was managing editor and lead writer of Sites and Symbols 2 (2005), a coffee-table book about buildings in UP Diliman - his alma mater (BA Philosophy; MA Creative Writing continuing). He worked at the UP Diliman Information Office before shifting to web content writing. His sudden fiction, "Notwithstanding Pigs," initially a Friendster testimonial, appeared in Philippines Graphic (2006) and in Very Short Stories for Harried Readers (2007). He used to write for www.technoodling.net.